God keeps His promises.
He is not a man that He should lie or the son of man that He should repent. Has He said and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and He will not make good? (Numbers 23:19)
This passage of scripture is written on the inside cover of my Bible. I put it there. It is a reminder to me that my God will always keep His promises to me.
I was reminded of this earlier this month, as I was driving home from my eldest daughter's home. She has been ill with mono, and was needing my help to move into her new home. Her children, my grand children, were a huge help to her during this time, but I needed to be there. Momma to the rescue. What came to mind that day, as I drove the three hour drive home, was a portion of scripture that God had spoken to my heart many years before. While my man and I lived in Colorado, and my two beautiful daughters lived in Washington state, there was a period of time that my eldest was ill from a food intolerance. She struggled with this for many years. I can remember many a phone conversation with her, and of how I would hang up and cry......and pray. I so wanted to be able to help her, but I was twenty one hours away. I knew that God was there with her......but I am her momma.
My youngest went through a difficult time during this time frame too. She wanted a baby, but that didn't happen for her and her man for eight years. I know, neither one of these issues were life threatening, but hard for them none the less. I just hated that I wasn't there to help them. I hated that I couldn't wrap my arms around them, cry with them, and kiss their "boo-boos" away. It was after one of these phone conversations that God led me to a portion of Isaiah 60.....your daughters shall be nursed at your side....I can remember reading this verse, wondering if it truly would happen, would we ever be able to live closer to each other again? I missed my girls so much.
This is what the Lord reminded me of.....Because here I am, living three hours from my girls, able to make the drive to help out if needed.
But this is not the only promise that God has kept. He has kept His promise of help, and guidance, and grace. The promise of the Holy Spirit's help and teaching each and every day of my life, the promise of His mercies that are new each morning. The promise of protection, and of my daily needs being met.
I will end this with one of my all time favorite passages of scripture, and yes, it too is a promise to me.
He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? (Romans 8:32)
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
"I Will Live!"
I was reading in the book of Numbers the other day, the account of the children of Israel and of the plague of fiery serpents that the Lord sent into their midst. If you are familiar with the story, you will remember that God sent fiery serpents as a discipline for their faithlessness. Numbers records that the children of Israel were placed in a position (AGAIN) to trust God, in regards to Him being the One who would take care of them. Moses asked the king of Edom if he, and the children of Israel, could go through his land. Moses told the king that he and the people would not be taking anything from him or the land; they were just going to walk through it. The king said, no, and so Moses and the people had to go back into the wilderness and walk a long distance around the land of Edom. The Bible records that they had to go by way of the Red Sea.....again! The place of their past failure.....their sin of faithlessness. When the people found this out, they began to murmur and complain about God and His care for them. Once again, God was orchestrating the lives of the people, and they became afraid; and therefore, they turned again to unbelief and distrust of God and His ways. And so, because God loved them, He sent a discipline into their lives, one that actually killed some of them.
The fiery serpents were sent to bite the people, and yes, I believe that they were real snakes! When the children of Israel felt the bite of the snakes, they then perished. I am sure that as they lay writhing in pain, and breathing their last, that they truly regretted their distrust of God, but it was too late. And please note that they didn't only distrust God, they also attributed something to Him that was so untrue; and that is, that He had brought them into the wilderness to destroy them. They believed the lie, instead of the truth, which was that God was setting them free from the slavery of Egypt. In essence they attributed to God what Satan wants to do in our lives.......destroy us!! Therefore I see the loving hand of God in His discipline, for I know the sting of the bite of my disobedience and faithlessness!! Just like the children of Israel, I too, so often, go astray. I too, attribute to God what the devil is.....a liar and a murderer, and I am ashamed to admit how often I do this!! Let me just say that I am so thankful for God's grace and mercy!!
What we read next, is that the people of Israel went to Moses to appeal to him too talk to God on their behalf. They admitted their sin, and asked Moses to ask the Lord to take away the serpents. What occurs next has always been a puzzle to me, still not sure of all that it means. God tells Moses to make a replica of the serpent out of bronze, and then he was to place it on a pole. God then told Moses to tell the people that when they were bitten by the real serpents, if they looked toward the replica, they would be healed. Isn't that such a strange thing to do? And yet, Moses obeyed and made the bronze serpent, and put it on a pole. Moses obeyed God and told the people of God to do a very strange thing.....look to the bronze serpent if they were bit, and they would live.
As I was reading this, God spoke to my heart that I too, like Israel, am so quick to distrust Him and His motives. I so often am tempted to want my own way, and when God doesn't agree with me, I feel that He has abandoned me. Have you ever felt like God was putting you back into the same places that you thought that you had been brought from? I do not think that the mention of the Red Sea in this account was just by chance. I saw that God was giving the children of Israel another opportunity to respond in trust and obedience to Him! In His grace and mercy He was taking them to the place where they had mistrusted Him in the past, and giving them a chance to do it right this time! I also saw that the children of Israel had to look on their judgement (the bronze serpent) to be set free, to be healed! Isn't that the same for us? We need to recognize, to look on, our waywardness and lack of faith and see it for what it truly is.....sin. I, we need to really see that our disobedience will destroy us, and then in trust, turn to the Lord in obedience and do what He has asked; even if it seems strange or frightening. As the children of Israel looked to the replica of the judgement of God, we too look to the cross of Jesus that has set us free. For isn't the cross just that? A symbol of God's righteous judgement on mankind? Jesus paid the cost of my waywardness and sin, He took on His body the justice of God.....for me! Because of His great love for His people, God provided a way for them to be saved from the death of the serpent's bite. Because of His great love for me, God provided a way for me to be saved from the sting of death; for Jesus saved me from my sin, and of living a worthless life. And so, as I live my life, I am to turn and look to the symbol of judgement....the cross, when I sin and fall and repent.....and in doing so......I will live!
The fiery serpents were sent to bite the people, and yes, I believe that they were real snakes! When the children of Israel felt the bite of the snakes, they then perished. I am sure that as they lay writhing in pain, and breathing their last, that they truly regretted their distrust of God, but it was too late. And please note that they didn't only distrust God, they also attributed something to Him that was so untrue; and that is, that He had brought them into the wilderness to destroy them. They believed the lie, instead of the truth, which was that God was setting them free from the slavery of Egypt. In essence they attributed to God what Satan wants to do in our lives.......destroy us!! Therefore I see the loving hand of God in His discipline, for I know the sting of the bite of my disobedience and faithlessness!! Just like the children of Israel, I too, so often, go astray. I too, attribute to God what the devil is.....a liar and a murderer, and I am ashamed to admit how often I do this!! Let me just say that I am so thankful for God's grace and mercy!!
What we read next, is that the people of Israel went to Moses to appeal to him too talk to God on their behalf. They admitted their sin, and asked Moses to ask the Lord to take away the serpents. What occurs next has always been a puzzle to me, still not sure of all that it means. God tells Moses to make a replica of the serpent out of bronze, and then he was to place it on a pole. God then told Moses to tell the people that when they were bitten by the real serpents, if they looked toward the replica, they would be healed. Isn't that such a strange thing to do? And yet, Moses obeyed and made the bronze serpent, and put it on a pole. Moses obeyed God and told the people of God to do a very strange thing.....look to the bronze serpent if they were bit, and they would live.
As I was reading this, God spoke to my heart that I too, like Israel, am so quick to distrust Him and His motives. I so often am tempted to want my own way, and when God doesn't agree with me, I feel that He has abandoned me. Have you ever felt like God was putting you back into the same places that you thought that you had been brought from? I do not think that the mention of the Red Sea in this account was just by chance. I saw that God was giving the children of Israel another opportunity to respond in trust and obedience to Him! In His grace and mercy He was taking them to the place where they had mistrusted Him in the past, and giving them a chance to do it right this time! I also saw that the children of Israel had to look on their judgement (the bronze serpent) to be set free, to be healed! Isn't that the same for us? We need to recognize, to look on, our waywardness and lack of faith and see it for what it truly is.....sin. I, we need to really see that our disobedience will destroy us, and then in trust, turn to the Lord in obedience and do what He has asked; even if it seems strange or frightening. As the children of Israel looked to the replica of the judgement of God, we too look to the cross of Jesus that has set us free. For isn't the cross just that? A symbol of God's righteous judgement on mankind? Jesus paid the cost of my waywardness and sin, He took on His body the justice of God.....for me! Because of His great love for His people, God provided a way for them to be saved from the death of the serpent's bite. Because of His great love for me, God provided a way for me to be saved from the sting of death; for Jesus saved me from my sin, and of living a worthless life. And so, as I live my life, I am to turn and look to the symbol of judgement....the cross, when I sin and fall and repent.....and in doing so......I will live!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Like Smoke
I have been reading Exodus druing my quiet times with Jesus; and once again I was convicted, as I read about how the children of Israel were so apt to not trust God! It seems to me that if God would have done some of those kinds of miracles in my life, I would not have turned to distrust as easily as they did. But of course, God reminded me that I too, am like the saints of old.....a human being with a sin nature.
As I was pondering about the time that God's people worshiped the golden calf and partied like there was no tomorrow, it seems to me that after what they had been through, they would have seen how silly that was, and yet I believe that they truly thought that the golden calf was going to be their god, and that their tomorrows may never come.
If you remember, Moses was up on the mountain top, communing with God and receiving the 10 Commandments, when God told him to go down to the people, because they were corrupting themselves. I was struck with the fact that the Bible tells us that the people went to Aaron, the priest, and told them that they wanted him to lead them, since Moses was delaying his coming. Maybe they thought that God had killed Moses, or maybe they thought that Moses had forsaken them. Maybe they thought that God had forsaken them. I don't know, and the Bible doesn't tell us why, we just know what they did. It is written that the children of Israel were told, by Aaron, to remove their earrings, and the earrings of their wives, and of their sons and daughters.......the earrings that were a symbol of their slavery (I am not totally sure if the Egyptians used earrings as a symbol of slavery at this time, but I do know that this is the case later on in Israel's history). Then Aaron took the people's earrings and melted them down into a gold calf.
The Lord showed me that the people took the symbol of their slavery and made it into something they thought would help them in that moment of time, something that they hoped would lead them, and save them.
Isn't this so true of you and me? When we became believers we were set free from being a slave to our sin, and yet we still have the tendency to take the things of our slavery, and try to make them into something that will help us today. I so often use my own wisdom, and my feelings to lead me. And weren't they the things that caused me to stumble and fall so many times in the past? I try to make people be what helps me today, turning to them to take away my pain, turning to them to make my day, my life easier. Now, I am not saying that we can't seek godly counsel or encouragement, but what if these don't help us? What if the trial and the pain is still there? Will we attribute this to God? Will we distrust Him and His word? Will we then try to fix ourselves or our situation, telling ourselves that God's way didn't work? This is basically what the children of Israel did. They were so willing to trust God when they had the signs of the plagues on Egypt, and the sign of the Red Sea parting, and of the Egyptians perishing right before their eyes in that same Red Sea as the waters came crashing down. And yet, when ever they were put in a position to trust without seeing, they failed miserably. What would have been the outcome if they had instead choose to trust God, and thrown their earrings into the fire as an act of surrender and obedience, burning them up as a sign that they no longer considered themselves to be Egypt's (Remember that Egypt is a type of the world, and of the world's system) slaves?
You see I so often in the past (and if I am honest, I do this even today) put my faith in myself, in others, and even in a worldly way of thinking or acting. But God came into my heart and changed all of that!! He came to show me that He, and His ways, and His words are what I should be heeding and following. God is trustworthy. I know this in my head, and yet so often in the midst of a trying time I forget that He is there, watching over me. The trial of faith is not so that God can see how I will respond, He already knows that! It is so that I can see how I will respond, for this builds and strengthens my faith and trust in God. Faith is like a muscle, it must be stretched and used in order for it to become stronger. We all have been given a measure of faith, so what will we do with it? Will we turn in trust to Jesus, or will we try and use the things from our slavery, to help us? The choice is ours to make, but God will be faithful despite what that choice may be.
So, for today I choose to take the symbols of my slavery and throw them instead into the cleansing fire of God's perfect love for me......may they burn and vanish into the air like smoke.
As I was pondering about the time that God's people worshiped the golden calf and partied like there was no tomorrow, it seems to me that after what they had been through, they would have seen how silly that was, and yet I believe that they truly thought that the golden calf was going to be their god, and that their tomorrows may never come.
If you remember, Moses was up on the mountain top, communing with God and receiving the 10 Commandments, when God told him to go down to the people, because they were corrupting themselves. I was struck with the fact that the Bible tells us that the people went to Aaron, the priest, and told them that they wanted him to lead them, since Moses was delaying his coming. Maybe they thought that God had killed Moses, or maybe they thought that Moses had forsaken them. Maybe they thought that God had forsaken them. I don't know, and the Bible doesn't tell us why, we just know what they did. It is written that the children of Israel were told, by Aaron, to remove their earrings, and the earrings of their wives, and of their sons and daughters.......the earrings that were a symbol of their slavery (I am not totally sure if the Egyptians used earrings as a symbol of slavery at this time, but I do know that this is the case later on in Israel's history). Then Aaron took the people's earrings and melted them down into a gold calf.
The Lord showed me that the people took the symbol of their slavery and made it into something they thought would help them in that moment of time, something that they hoped would lead them, and save them.
Isn't this so true of you and me? When we became believers we were set free from being a slave to our sin, and yet we still have the tendency to take the things of our slavery, and try to make them into something that will help us today. I so often use my own wisdom, and my feelings to lead me. And weren't they the things that caused me to stumble and fall so many times in the past? I try to make people be what helps me today, turning to them to take away my pain, turning to them to make my day, my life easier. Now, I am not saying that we can't seek godly counsel or encouragement, but what if these don't help us? What if the trial and the pain is still there? Will we attribute this to God? Will we distrust Him and His word? Will we then try to fix ourselves or our situation, telling ourselves that God's way didn't work? This is basically what the children of Israel did. They were so willing to trust God when they had the signs of the plagues on Egypt, and the sign of the Red Sea parting, and of the Egyptians perishing right before their eyes in that same Red Sea as the waters came crashing down. And yet, when ever they were put in a position to trust without seeing, they failed miserably. What would have been the outcome if they had instead choose to trust God, and thrown their earrings into the fire as an act of surrender and obedience, burning them up as a sign that they no longer considered themselves to be Egypt's (Remember that Egypt is a type of the world, and of the world's system) slaves?
You see I so often in the past (and if I am honest, I do this even today) put my faith in myself, in others, and even in a worldly way of thinking or acting. But God came into my heart and changed all of that!! He came to show me that He, and His ways, and His words are what I should be heeding and following. God is trustworthy. I know this in my head, and yet so often in the midst of a trying time I forget that He is there, watching over me. The trial of faith is not so that God can see how I will respond, He already knows that! It is so that I can see how I will respond, for this builds and strengthens my faith and trust in God. Faith is like a muscle, it must be stretched and used in order for it to become stronger. We all have been given a measure of faith, so what will we do with it? Will we turn in trust to Jesus, or will we try and use the things from our slavery, to help us? The choice is ours to make, but God will be faithful despite what that choice may be.
So, for today I choose to take the symbols of my slavery and throw them instead into the cleansing fire of God's perfect love for me......may they burn and vanish into the air like smoke.
Monday, January 30, 2012
For the Birds
I love birds.....any bird really, but I especially like swallows and mourning doves. Our home in Colorado had a large picture window that faced our front yard, where two very large blue spruces were the home of two mourning doves. Did you know that doves mate for life? And did you further know (that is a line from, Its A Wonderful Life. I have always wanted to be able to "say" it!) that doves will come back each year to the same nesting spot? I so enjoyed watching the doves build their nest in the spring, and then I would notice that the two became three or four! Each year of the eight that we lived there, I would see the doves come back in the spring, and roost in our tree. As we prepared to move to Washington state, I was bummed that I had to say "good-bye" to my feathered friends.
Now we live in a newer housing area, and so there are not any mature trees yet. We do have a maple tree in our front yard, and over the past four years, it has grown quite tall. Last winter, I decided that it was time to "bring on the birds," and so I bought a feeder. Since that day, I have been faithful to fill the feeder with a yummy mix of seeds and nuts, and the birds have been faithful to come and eat of the bounty.
Up till this winter, I hadn't seen any mourning doves yet, and then one particularly cold day in December, there they were. And it was not one pair of doves, but four!! The doves have made our front porch their home......and I have discovered something that I had not known before.......mourning doves are MESSY! They grab a seed or a nut from the feeder and then take it back to the porch to dine on it......then they leave the empty shells, and the other things that come from the back side of their feathered little bodies! Needless to say, the porch is in constant need of a good sweep and clean. But, I don't mind the work because.....I love birds.
The other day as I was sweeping up the mess, I was reminded of how Jesus told us to not worry about our lives, to not worry about what we are to eat, or what we are to wear on our bodies. I am sure that you are familiar with the passage in Luke, where the Lord uses birds and flowers as an example to us about His care of us. Jesus said that the birds of the air don't have to toil for their food, it is provided for them from His hand. He also said that the flowers of the field don't need to worry about their pretty petals, that they are clothed with finer garments than a king is!! All of this to say that we don't need to worry about our lives. If God takes care of the birds and of nature, then He most certainly will take care of us......His most precious creation!
As I finished cleaning the front porch and refilling the bird feeder, here the birds came.....they landed in our maple tree and began to sing their songs.....the doves cooed at me, and waited until I went into the house before they moved to the porch. I came away with the realization that I too am to "sing" at what is provided. I am to "sing" for there is no cause to worry, God has never let me down, and I know He never will. I am to "sing" because of His love for me, and I am to "sing" of how He so often has to clean up my messes.......He doesn't mind the "work" involved in having me around. And just as I love to hear the birds sing and the doves coo, I know that Jesus loves to hear me sing too.
Now we live in a newer housing area, and so there are not any mature trees yet. We do have a maple tree in our front yard, and over the past four years, it has grown quite tall. Last winter, I decided that it was time to "bring on the birds," and so I bought a feeder. Since that day, I have been faithful to fill the feeder with a yummy mix of seeds and nuts, and the birds have been faithful to come and eat of the bounty.
Up till this winter, I hadn't seen any mourning doves yet, and then one particularly cold day in December, there they were. And it was not one pair of doves, but four!! The doves have made our front porch their home......and I have discovered something that I had not known before.......mourning doves are MESSY! They grab a seed or a nut from the feeder and then take it back to the porch to dine on it......then they leave the empty shells, and the other things that come from the back side of their feathered little bodies! Needless to say, the porch is in constant need of a good sweep and clean. But, I don't mind the work because.....I love birds.
The other day as I was sweeping up the mess, I was reminded of how Jesus told us to not worry about our lives, to not worry about what we are to eat, or what we are to wear on our bodies. I am sure that you are familiar with the passage in Luke, where the Lord uses birds and flowers as an example to us about His care of us. Jesus said that the birds of the air don't have to toil for their food, it is provided for them from His hand. He also said that the flowers of the field don't need to worry about their pretty petals, that they are clothed with finer garments than a king is!! All of this to say that we don't need to worry about our lives. If God takes care of the birds and of nature, then He most certainly will take care of us......His most precious creation!
As I finished cleaning the front porch and refilling the bird feeder, here the birds came.....they landed in our maple tree and began to sing their songs.....the doves cooed at me, and waited until I went into the house before they moved to the porch. I came away with the realization that I too am to "sing" at what is provided. I am to "sing" for there is no cause to worry, God has never let me down, and I know He never will. I am to "sing" because of His love for me, and I am to "sing" of how He so often has to clean up my messes.......He doesn't mind the "work" involved in having me around. And just as I love to hear the birds sing and the doves coo, I know that Jesus loves to hear me sing too.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
The Change
This past Wednesday, our senior pastor gave his annual Prophecy Update message. He spoke on world events, and on what is happening in the religious arena, in our world today. I was once again amazed at how true the Bible is! There are many Old Testament prophecies being fulfilled to day, and there will be many more to come. At the end of the message, our pastor gave an alter call, and 15 people were added to the kingdom of God! What has me thinking though, is a passage from 1 Peter that he read at the end of the message; it spoke of being, "sober" and "watchful."
I am not that young anymore, I am in my 50's. These past few years have been ones of major changes in my body, and in my life. For those of you who are "with me" in this, you will totally understand what I am going through......I have experienced a loss of my usual stamina....I tire easily. I don't seem to have the "mental abilities" that I once had, my memory is going! And I am quit cranky at times, what little patient I possessed is gone. Yes, I am going through........The Change. And, on top of the physical symptoms, I have experienced something that I thought I would never "feel." I want to quit ministry, I am ready to retire. I want to move to the beach or to the mountains, and live in solitude.......waiting for Jesus to take me home. Over this past year, as I have been experiencing this, I have been faithful to talk to the Lord about it; and He, has been faithful to hear and answer me. I have to say that I find it quite humorous to find out that there are quite a few verses in the Bible that speak of "old age." There was this one time that I was feeling "dried up," useless to the Lord, and so I prayed, and right away a chapter in Isaiah came to mind. It was talking about how even the eunuch would not be a dry tree in the house of the Lord!! How funny is that??? I believe that the Lord was telling me that I would be full of life and vigor.....in serving in His house, the church. So, no retirement for me just yet!
What follows is what the Lord has been showing me, as I have gone through.......The Change.
I am one of those people who have a lot of energy, and I also love to serve, it is my "love-language. I can accomplish a lot of tasks quickly, and I don't need much instruction. I also, have an excellent memory. I do need to use a daily calendar, because life is very busy, but I do (or I did) have a good memory. So, to have this part of me, in a sense, just go away, has been very difficult to say the least. I think the most important lesson that I have learned is that God is faithful to me , and to His word! He has said that all of His promises are, "Yes, and Amen, in Jesus." Through this time, He has shown me once again, that I can not do ministry apart from Him! There must be a total dependence on His Spirit, not in my abilities. And so, through this trial, He has given me another opportunity to trust in Him......alone.
I have found that God gives a supernatural ability to keep on going. There have been many times over the past few years that I have literally "felt" God infusing me with strength and power. God means what He says, I must stay "attached to the Vine," in order to "bear much fruit."
At the Prophecy Update, I was once again reminded of how important it is to finish my race well. You see, a runner knows that she must pace herself as she runs. For if she doesn't, she won't have enough energy, or strength, to make it over the finish line. Also, she must watch the race track. She must be watchful of anything that might trip her up, and cause her to stumble and fall, while keeping her eyes on the finish line. Through this message of "being sober, and watchful," I am once again reminded that I need to be about the Lord's business, and not mine! I have been awakened to a few things about my personal life, things that have been weighing me down, and tripping me up as I have run my race........They are:
I need to be careful about my driving. No more impatience with other drivers that I am sharing the road with!
I need to be more diligent in my finances. My man and I are hard at work on this one. I even found a $490.00 mistake that was made by an on-line company that they are in the process of refunding to us!
I need to be careful to, as much as possible, to take care of my physical body. And, so I am exercising on a daily basis, and feel wonderful. Also, I am taking natural hormones and feel great!
I need to pray with a greater awareness of what is going on around me. I am asking Jesus to open my eyes to the needs around me. I am praying about each situation and asking what He would like me to do, or if I can be of any help.
I need more of Jesus in my daily duties. So often I just go through my day without speaking to the Lord at all! Yes, I am faithful to start my day with prayer and reading of the Bible, but so often it ends there.
I need.......more of Jesus, every second of each day!
Now I know that most of us greet the New Year with a list of resolutions, things that we would like to change about ourselves, or change about our lives. Maybe there are things that we would like to do over the upcoming year. To be honest, I try not to do this, because I will have a tendency to "follow the list," instead of following the Lord; but, I still believe that there is room for self reflection, and there is room to do inventory on my personal life. This is where I am today. Asking God to, "search my heart, and know me, to see if there is any wicked way in me, and to lead me in the paths.....everlasting."
I have decided that I don't want to quit......just as I am ready to cross the finish line. There are many things that I know need to change about me, and about my life; things that will help me to finish my race well. I can't change the fact that I am in my 50s, but someday soon I will see my Savior face to face. So, until the day that He calls me home, I will keep running my race.......to win!
I am not that young anymore, I am in my 50's. These past few years have been ones of major changes in my body, and in my life. For those of you who are "with me" in this, you will totally understand what I am going through......I have experienced a loss of my usual stamina....I tire easily. I don't seem to have the "mental abilities" that I once had, my memory is going! And I am quit cranky at times, what little patient I possessed is gone. Yes, I am going through........The Change. And, on top of the physical symptoms, I have experienced something that I thought I would never "feel." I want to quit ministry, I am ready to retire. I want to move to the beach or to the mountains, and live in solitude.......waiting for Jesus to take me home. Over this past year, as I have been experiencing this, I have been faithful to talk to the Lord about it; and He, has been faithful to hear and answer me. I have to say that I find it quite humorous to find out that there are quite a few verses in the Bible that speak of "old age." There was this one time that I was feeling "dried up," useless to the Lord, and so I prayed, and right away a chapter in Isaiah came to mind. It was talking about how even the eunuch would not be a dry tree in the house of the Lord!! How funny is that??? I believe that the Lord was telling me that I would be full of life and vigor.....in serving in His house, the church. So, no retirement for me just yet!
What follows is what the Lord has been showing me, as I have gone through.......The Change.
I am one of those people who have a lot of energy, and I also love to serve, it is my "love-language. I can accomplish a lot of tasks quickly, and I don't need much instruction. I also, have an excellent memory. I do need to use a daily calendar, because life is very busy, but I do (or I did) have a good memory. So, to have this part of me, in a sense, just go away, has been very difficult to say the least. I think the most important lesson that I have learned is that God is faithful to me , and to His word! He has said that all of His promises are, "Yes, and Amen, in Jesus." Through this time, He has shown me once again, that I can not do ministry apart from Him! There must be a total dependence on His Spirit, not in my abilities. And so, through this trial, He has given me another opportunity to trust in Him......alone.
I have found that God gives a supernatural ability to keep on going. There have been many times over the past few years that I have literally "felt" God infusing me with strength and power. God means what He says, I must stay "attached to the Vine," in order to "bear much fruit."
At the Prophecy Update, I was once again reminded of how important it is to finish my race well. You see, a runner knows that she must pace herself as she runs. For if she doesn't, she won't have enough energy, or strength, to make it over the finish line. Also, she must watch the race track. She must be watchful of anything that might trip her up, and cause her to stumble and fall, while keeping her eyes on the finish line. Through this message of "being sober, and watchful," I am once again reminded that I need to be about the Lord's business, and not mine! I have been awakened to a few things about my personal life, things that have been weighing me down, and tripping me up as I have run my race........They are:
I need to be careful about my driving. No more impatience with other drivers that I am sharing the road with!
I need to be more diligent in my finances. My man and I are hard at work on this one. I even found a $490.00 mistake that was made by an on-line company that they are in the process of refunding to us!
I need to be careful to, as much as possible, to take care of my physical body. And, so I am exercising on a daily basis, and feel wonderful. Also, I am taking natural hormones and feel great!
I need to pray with a greater awareness of what is going on around me. I am asking Jesus to open my eyes to the needs around me. I am praying about each situation and asking what He would like me to do, or if I can be of any help.
I need more of Jesus in my daily duties. So often I just go through my day without speaking to the Lord at all! Yes, I am faithful to start my day with prayer and reading of the Bible, but so often it ends there.
I need.......more of Jesus, every second of each day!
Now I know that most of us greet the New Year with a list of resolutions, things that we would like to change about ourselves, or change about our lives. Maybe there are things that we would like to do over the upcoming year. To be honest, I try not to do this, because I will have a tendency to "follow the list," instead of following the Lord; but, I still believe that there is room for self reflection, and there is room to do inventory on my personal life. This is where I am today. Asking God to, "search my heart, and know me, to see if there is any wicked way in me, and to lead me in the paths.....everlasting."
I have decided that I don't want to quit......just as I am ready to cross the finish line. There are many things that I know need to change about me, and about my life; things that will help me to finish my race well. I can't change the fact that I am in my 50s, but someday soon I will see my Savior face to face. So, until the day that He calls me home, I will keep running my race.......to win!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
"No Idols Before Me"
This posting is a companion to the post titled.......Iron Sharpens Iron.
The second lesson that I learned in marriage is: God must be EVERYTHING to me!
No man, no matter how awesome and godly he is, will ever be able to love me the way Jesus does. He will never be able to take the place of God; and biblically speaking, God will never allow it to be so. I have a guy who loves Jesus, and he is a wonderful husband, and father. Being blessed with a husband like this is one of the best gifts from the Lord!!
As I write this, I am reminded of Job. God gave Job many blessings, many gifts, and then He allowed them to be taken away. For what reason? For the purpose of refining Job, for the purpose of removing from Job's heart the impurity of pride. Also, Job had an incorrect view of God, and of the blessings that He gives. God wanted the best for Job, and He wants the best for me. God gives me blessings because He loves me, and because He loves me, He can take them away! I must never put the gift above the Gift-Giver!
I have found that God is faithful to His word, He will always give what He has promised. God said that He would not share His rightful place in my life with anyone! No idols at all on the throne of my heart will be tolerated. The beautiful gift of Mitch and my marriage, can be an idol to me; and today, as I write this, I will tell you that I still fight this on a daily basis. Here recently, I allowed this to happen again, and it was not a pretty sight!
I have discovered a curious thing about idolatry. We want so badly for the person we have idolized to love us, and to notice us, to serve us....to do something for us! We have this overwhelming need to be validated by this person; and if this doesn't happen, we wind up despising the one we had so loved before. Please, I don't mean to say that I fall in and out of love with my man. What I am saying is that if I am idolizing my husband, God will make sure to show me the error of my ways, and He does that by showing me my "idol's" feet of clay.
Idolatry is something that we in today's society are not as familiar with as the people of long ago were. I think that I can safely say that most of us haven't gone down to our local shopping mall and purchased a gold or silver figure of some god, and then brought it home and set up a center of worship to it in our home. I do realize that there are many cultures and peoples who do just that, but in America we don't see it as much. But, the practice of idolatry is something all of us can get into to, even Christians.
Idolatry in it's basic form is: Worship of false gods, it is the blind or excessive devotion to something, and reverence for some person or thing. An idolater is a slave to the ideas that the idol represents. Basically an idol is something that replaces the One True God! Idolatry extends beyond the worship of idols and images and false gods. I may not bow physically before a statue, but what I have discovered is that idolatry is a matter of my heart. Idolatry is anything that I become a slave to. It is allowing anything, or anyone the" place" in my life, that belongs to the Lord alone. So, what is this "place" that I am speaking of? First, it is my mind/heart. So often the Bible intertwines these two words, it is easy for us to misunderstand what is being spoken of. May I share with you a very basic explanation of the difference between the two?
The mind is the place where we "think," where we reason, where we make decisions. And the heart is the place where we "feel." It is the emotional part of us. Jesus said that out of the mind/heart come evil thoughts and then come evil actions. Therefore, if my mind and my heart are controlled by my flesh, then it is safe to say that I will be living, acting in my flesh. This to me is idolatry. Why? Because I am being a slave to my flesh, I am letting my flesh tell me what to do, instead of the Lord. The way that I think about things will determine how I act about things.
If I keep my honey in his proper place in my heart, then godly actions in my marriage will follow. Also, because I am keeping God in His rightful place in my heart/life, I have the assurance of His promises. The promises of grace and mercy, and of peace and love.......the promises to meet all of my needs. And truly, no man (no matter how wonderful) can promise that!
The second lesson that I learned in marriage is: God must be EVERYTHING to me!
No man, no matter how awesome and godly he is, will ever be able to love me the way Jesus does. He will never be able to take the place of God; and biblically speaking, God will never allow it to be so. I have a guy who loves Jesus, and he is a wonderful husband, and father. Being blessed with a husband like this is one of the best gifts from the Lord!!
As I write this, I am reminded of Job. God gave Job many blessings, many gifts, and then He allowed them to be taken away. For what reason? For the purpose of refining Job, for the purpose of removing from Job's heart the impurity of pride. Also, Job had an incorrect view of God, and of the blessings that He gives. God wanted the best for Job, and He wants the best for me. God gives me blessings because He loves me, and because He loves me, He can take them away! I must never put the gift above the Gift-Giver!
I have found that God is faithful to His word, He will always give what He has promised. God said that He would not share His rightful place in my life with anyone! No idols at all on the throne of my heart will be tolerated. The beautiful gift of Mitch and my marriage, can be an idol to me; and today, as I write this, I will tell you that I still fight this on a daily basis. Here recently, I allowed this to happen again, and it was not a pretty sight!
I have discovered a curious thing about idolatry. We want so badly for the person we have idolized to love us, and to notice us, to serve us....to do something for us! We have this overwhelming need to be validated by this person; and if this doesn't happen, we wind up despising the one we had so loved before. Please, I don't mean to say that I fall in and out of love with my man. What I am saying is that if I am idolizing my husband, God will make sure to show me the error of my ways, and He does that by showing me my "idol's" feet of clay.
Idolatry is something that we in today's society are not as familiar with as the people of long ago were. I think that I can safely say that most of us haven't gone down to our local shopping mall and purchased a gold or silver figure of some god, and then brought it home and set up a center of worship to it in our home. I do realize that there are many cultures and peoples who do just that, but in America we don't see it as much. But, the practice of idolatry is something all of us can get into to, even Christians.
Idolatry in it's basic form is: Worship of false gods, it is the blind or excessive devotion to something, and reverence for some person or thing. An idolater is a slave to the ideas that the idol represents. Basically an idol is something that replaces the One True God! Idolatry extends beyond the worship of idols and images and false gods. I may not bow physically before a statue, but what I have discovered is that idolatry is a matter of my heart. Idolatry is anything that I become a slave to. It is allowing anything, or anyone the" place" in my life, that belongs to the Lord alone. So, what is this "place" that I am speaking of? First, it is my mind/heart. So often the Bible intertwines these two words, it is easy for us to misunderstand what is being spoken of. May I share with you a very basic explanation of the difference between the two?
The mind is the place where we "think," where we reason, where we make decisions. And the heart is the place where we "feel." It is the emotional part of us. Jesus said that out of the mind/heart come evil thoughts and then come evil actions. Therefore, if my mind and my heart are controlled by my flesh, then it is safe to say that I will be living, acting in my flesh. This to me is idolatry. Why? Because I am being a slave to my flesh, I am letting my flesh tell me what to do, instead of the Lord. The way that I think about things will determine how I act about things.
If I keep my honey in his proper place in my heart, then godly actions in my marriage will follow. Also, because I am keeping God in His rightful place in my heart/life, I have the assurance of His promises. The promises of grace and mercy, and of peace and love.......the promises to meet all of my needs. And truly, no man (no matter how wonderful) can promise that!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Safe in His Hands
One of the harder aspects of being a pastor's wife, is that some people find it hard to separate you, from the job. So often, we loose precious friends, because they get upset and angry at something that was said or done at church. I know that this can happen with anyone, but it really hurts when it is a close friend of family member. These are the ones we expect to remain loyal.
When my husband started fulfilling the role of a pastor, our first church was in Colorado. Living in Colorado had been a dream of ours for many years. My husband was born there, and some of his family still lived in the state. Mitch was close to a member of his family, and we had hoped to someday live closer to them. It seemed like answered prayer when we sensed the Lord leading us to start a church in Colorado. We were so excited to be finally heading to the Rocky Mountains, and moving closer to our precious family.
We moved to Colorado in 1996, and began a small Bible study, which later grew into a church. It was during the first two years of our time there, that God taught me another painful, yet valuable lesson. It is sad to me that it had to come in the way that it did, but nevertheless, I am so thankful for what the Lord taught us during this time. My honey was the one who has borne most of the pain, and has "lost" someone very dear to his heart. This post isn't about his story, but mine, and so I will say here, right now, that I have an awesome man of God for a mate.....he never once, ever stopped loving His Lord, or serving Him. My honey learned first hand what it means to "give up" his life, and family for God's purposes.
We moved to Colorado with such high hopes, and dreams. Both Mitch, and I were willing to do what ever needed doing, so that we could serve the Lord, and the people that would be coming to our fellowship, and we were so excited to be able to live in a town that was only an hour away from our close family members.
Our troubles started soon after arriving. We had a couple that started to attend that had some ideas of how they thought church should go, and so they fought us at every turn. As we would go through some of these times, I would share my heart with our a family member, and ask for prayer and guidance. I should have known that something wasn't right, because I would get counsel that wasn't sound, or very encouraging. What I would get was something like, "Mitch isn't a pastor, or people would not be negative about him, and they would be more supportive of the church." We would be subtly asked to do family activities on Sundays, or we would be told that God wants "families to be first, before ministry." It seemed that each time we were together, and we would mention the fellowship, or what the Lord was doing with us, we would be met with silence, or with the subject being changed.
One time I remember being told that I should encourage Mitch to stop being a pastor. Not one time did these close family members ever encourage us to keep going.
Mitch and I kept going though, and we kept trying to "win" them. It seemed that the more we talked to them about what we knew to be the call on our lives, the more they would ignore what was said.
We lived this way for about 2 years, and then it all blew up. Part of the "blow-up" was my fault. I did something that I never should have done, something done in anger, and hurt that can never be taken back. What had happened caused these family members to spin a lie, that affected us for over a year. Please know that I had asked for forgiveness for my actions, and forgiveness was verbally given, but the sin was not forgotten. It was held against us, and it caused these supposed loved ones to, in essence, be done with us.
This was one of the most painful things that I have ever had to go through! I had to watch as my husband's best friend and family member, turn from him, and walk away.
But God was faithful. In the beginning of this trial, the Lord sent me to Psalm 55. In this Psalm, David is pouring out his heart to God about King Saul, and the treachery of his friends. One of the lines of this song says, "........oh if I had wings to fly away like a dove to my rest......" and it totally described how I felt. But, God in His mercy had something else for me to see. Did you know that doves will not fight back when snared? If a net is thrown over them, they will not beat their wings, and try to escape as other birds do. They are very docile birds. This is what the Lord was showing me.......when a person rises up against me, I am to be docile, resting in the Father's hands. Because after all, it is God who was allowing this to happen, and even though I was "loosing" a close friend and loved one, God was not going to "loose" me!! I discovered that when I am in His hands, I truly am at rest.
Having people be against you is very hard. It is harder still, to have people whom you love and trust, turn on you.....because of ministry. During this time, I could not understand how anyone, let alone close Christian friends and family, could "ditch you" because you didn't listen to them.....because you chose instead, to listen to God.
We both learned valuable lessons, lessons that have kept us serving God in ministry, kept us from not giving up.
I learned that God was serious when He said,
I wish that I could say that these relationships are restored, but I can not.
Another lesson that I learned was that I was to speak the truth at all times. In some of these relationships I became lax in this area. When I would be asked a question, or when I had an opportunity to encourage a friend out of sin, I didn't do so. I just assumed that they would go to God, hear from Him, and then change their behavior. Or, if they came to me with a criticism against Mitch, or against how he was doing ministry, I didn't say anything. I told myself that they had a right to their opinion.
Now, I am not talking about "sin sniffing." I am talking about when an opportunity came to share godly counsel, I didn't. I was too afraid that they wouldn't like me, or that they would be mad at me, or that they would leave the church, etc. I decided that I knew best, and that is never a good place to be. I have learned that God gives to us spiritual understanding and help, and He means for us to give it away. So often fear and insecurity keep us from sharing what He has given to us.
Over the course of our 9 years in Colorado, I had the opportunity again, to practice what I had learned, for you see, I had to go through this same scenario another 3 times!! I must say that I didn't handle them all well, but with the Lord, I was able to trust and let go. I know that God is fully capable and willing to restore me to these relationships, and I eagerly await the day when this happens, for the greatest blessing that God gave to me from going through these times, is the ability to forgive! I hold no bitterness or anger, only a desire to see lives changed, a desire for unity again. Not unity at the cost of truth, but true Christian unity that brings........peace.
When my husband started fulfilling the role of a pastor, our first church was in Colorado. Living in Colorado had been a dream of ours for many years. My husband was born there, and some of his family still lived in the state. Mitch was close to a member of his family, and we had hoped to someday live closer to them. It seemed like answered prayer when we sensed the Lord leading us to start a church in Colorado. We were so excited to be finally heading to the Rocky Mountains, and moving closer to our precious family.
We moved to Colorado in 1996, and began a small Bible study, which later grew into a church. It was during the first two years of our time there, that God taught me another painful, yet valuable lesson. It is sad to me that it had to come in the way that it did, but nevertheless, I am so thankful for what the Lord taught us during this time. My honey was the one who has borne most of the pain, and has "lost" someone very dear to his heart. This post isn't about his story, but mine, and so I will say here, right now, that I have an awesome man of God for a mate.....he never once, ever stopped loving His Lord, or serving Him. My honey learned first hand what it means to "give up" his life, and family for God's purposes.
We moved to Colorado with such high hopes, and dreams. Both Mitch, and I were willing to do what ever needed doing, so that we could serve the Lord, and the people that would be coming to our fellowship, and we were so excited to be able to live in a town that was only an hour away from our close family members.
Our troubles started soon after arriving. We had a couple that started to attend that had some ideas of how they thought church should go, and so they fought us at every turn. As we would go through some of these times, I would share my heart with our a family member, and ask for prayer and guidance. I should have known that something wasn't right, because I would get counsel that wasn't sound, or very encouraging. What I would get was something like, "Mitch isn't a pastor, or people would not be negative about him, and they would be more supportive of the church." We would be subtly asked to do family activities on Sundays, or we would be told that God wants "families to be first, before ministry." It seemed that each time we were together, and we would mention the fellowship, or what the Lord was doing with us, we would be met with silence, or with the subject being changed.
One time I remember being told that I should encourage Mitch to stop being a pastor. Not one time did these close family members ever encourage us to keep going.
Mitch and I kept going though, and we kept trying to "win" them. It seemed that the more we talked to them about what we knew to be the call on our lives, the more they would ignore what was said.
We lived this way for about 2 years, and then it all blew up. Part of the "blow-up" was my fault. I did something that I never should have done, something done in anger, and hurt that can never be taken back. What had happened caused these family members to spin a lie, that affected us for over a year. Please know that I had asked for forgiveness for my actions, and forgiveness was verbally given, but the sin was not forgotten. It was held against us, and it caused these supposed loved ones to, in essence, be done with us.
This was one of the most painful things that I have ever had to go through! I had to watch as my husband's best friend and family member, turn from him, and walk away.
But God was faithful. In the beginning of this trial, the Lord sent me to Psalm 55. In this Psalm, David is pouring out his heart to God about King Saul, and the treachery of his friends. One of the lines of this song says, "........oh if I had wings to fly away like a dove to my rest......" and it totally described how I felt. But, God in His mercy had something else for me to see. Did you know that doves will not fight back when snared? If a net is thrown over them, they will not beat their wings, and try to escape as other birds do. They are very docile birds. This is what the Lord was showing me.......when a person rises up against me, I am to be docile, resting in the Father's hands. Because after all, it is God who was allowing this to happen, and even though I was "loosing" a close friend and loved one, God was not going to "loose" me!! I discovered that when I am in His hands, I truly am at rest.
Having people be against you is very hard. It is harder still, to have people whom you love and trust, turn on you.....because of ministry. During this time, I could not understand how anyone, let alone close Christian friends and family, could "ditch you" because you didn't listen to them.....because you chose instead, to listen to God.
We both learned valuable lessons, lessons that have kept us serving God in ministry, kept us from not giving up.
I learned that God was serious when He said,
“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. Luke 14:26
The word hate here, is a word referring to: Choice of feeling. It carries the meaning of, to love less than. What I learned through this time was that I am to never-ever choose people over God, even those that I truly care for. When the choice came to give up doing ministry or to give up these family members, the choice was clear, but nevertheless, very hard and painful.I wish that I could say that these relationships are restored, but I can not.
Another lesson that I learned was that I was to speak the truth at all times. In some of these relationships I became lax in this area. When I would be asked a question, or when I had an opportunity to encourage a friend out of sin, I didn't do so. I just assumed that they would go to God, hear from Him, and then change their behavior. Or, if they came to me with a criticism against Mitch, or against how he was doing ministry, I didn't say anything. I told myself that they had a right to their opinion.
Now, I am not talking about "sin sniffing." I am talking about when an opportunity came to share godly counsel, I didn't. I was too afraid that they wouldn't like me, or that they would be mad at me, or that they would leave the church, etc. I decided that I knew best, and that is never a good place to be. I have learned that God gives to us spiritual understanding and help, and He means for us to give it away. So often fear and insecurity keep us from sharing what He has given to us.
Over the course of our 9 years in Colorado, I had the opportunity again, to practice what I had learned, for you see, I had to go through this same scenario another 3 times!! I must say that I didn't handle them all well, but with the Lord, I was able to trust and let go. I know that God is fully capable and willing to restore me to these relationships, and I eagerly await the day when this happens, for the greatest blessing that God gave to me from going through these times, is the ability to forgive! I hold no bitterness or anger, only a desire to see lives changed, a desire for unity again. Not unity at the cost of truth, but true Christian unity that brings........peace.
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