The Change

This past Wednesday, our senior pastor gave his annual Prophecy Update message. He spoke on world events, and on what is happening in the religious arena, in our world today.  I was once again amazed at how true the Bible is!  There are many Old Testament prophecies being fulfilled to day, and there will be many more to come.  At the end of the message, our pastor gave an alter call, and 15 people were added to the kingdom of God!  What has me thinking though, is a passage from 1 Peter that he read at the end of the message; it spoke of being, "sober" and "watchful." 
I am not that young anymore, I am in my 50's.  These past few years have been ones of major changes in my body, and in my life.  For those of you who are "with me" in this, you will totally understand what I am going through......I have experienced a loss of my usual stamina....I tire easily.  I don't seem to have the "mental abilities" that I once had, my memory is going!  And I am quit cranky at times, what little patient I possessed is gone.  Yes, I am going through........The Change.  And, on top of the physical symptoms, I have experienced something that I thought I would never "feel."  I want to quit ministry, I am ready to retire.  I want to move to the beach or to the mountains, and live in solitude.......waiting for Jesus to take me home. Over this past year, as I have been experiencing this, I have been faithful to talk to the Lord about it; and He, has been faithful to hear and answer me.  I have to say that I find it quite humorous to find out that there are quite a few verses in the Bible that speak of "old age."  There was this one time that I was feeling "dried up," useless to the Lord, and so I prayed, and right away a chapter in Isaiah came to mind.  It was talking about how even the eunuch would not be a dry tree in the house of the Lord!!  How funny is that???  I believe that the Lord was telling me that I would be full of life and vigor.....in serving in His house, the church.  So, no retirement for me just yet!
What follows is what the Lord has been showing me, as I have gone through.......The Change.
I am one of those people who have a lot of energy, and I also love to serve, it is my "love-language.  I can accomplish a lot of tasks quickly, and I don't need much instruction.  I also, have an excellent memory.  I do need to use a daily calendar, because life is very busy, but I do (or I did) have a good memory.  So, to have this part of me, in a sense, just go away, has been very difficult to say the least. I think the most important lesson that I have learned is that God is faithful to me , and to His word!  He has said that all of His promises are, "Yes, and Amen, in Jesus."  Through this time, He has shown me once again, that I can not do ministry apart from Him!  There must be a total dependence on His Spirit, not in my abilities.  And so, through this trial, He has given me another opportunity to trust in Him......alone.
I have found that God gives a supernatural ability to keep on going.  There have been many times over the past few years that I have literally "felt" God infusing me with strength and power.  God means what He says, I must stay "attached to the Vine," in order to "bear much fruit."  
At the Prophecy Update, I was once again reminded of how important it is to finish my race well.  You see, a runner knows that she must pace herself as she runs.  For if she doesn't, she won't have enough energy, or strength, to make it over the finish line. Also, she must watch the race track.  She must be watchful of anything that might trip her up, and cause her to stumble and fall, while keeping her eyes on the finish line. Through this message of "being sober, and watchful," I am once again reminded that I need to be about the Lord's business, and not mine!  I have been awakened to a few things about my personal life, things that have been weighing me down, and tripping me up as I have run my race........They are:
I need to be careful about my driving.  No more impatience with other drivers that I am sharing the road with!
I need to be more diligent in my finances.  My man and I are hard at work on this one.  I even found a $490.00 mistake that was made by an on-line company that they are in the process of refunding to us!
I need to be careful to, as much as possible, to take care of my physical body.  And, so I am exercising on a daily basis, and feel wonderful.  Also, I am taking natural hormones and feel great!
I need to pray with a greater awareness of what is going on around me.  I am asking Jesus to open my eyes to the needs around me.  I am praying about each situation and asking what He would like me to do, or if I can be of any help.
I need more of Jesus in my daily duties.  So often I just go through my day without speaking to the Lord at all!  Yes, I am faithful to start my day with prayer and reading of the Bible, but so often it ends there.
I need.......more of Jesus, every second of each day!
Now I know that most of us greet the New Year with a list of resolutions, things that we would like to change about ourselves, or change about our lives.  Maybe there are things that we would like to do over the upcoming year.  To be honest, I try not to do this, because I will have a tendency to "follow the list," instead of following the Lord; but, I still believe that there is room for self reflection, and there is room to do inventory on my personal life.  This is where I am today.  Asking God to, "search my heart, and know me, to see if there is any wicked way in me, and to lead me in the paths.....everlasting."
I have decided that I don't want to quit......just as I am ready to cross the finish line.  There are many things that I know need to change about me, and about my life; things that will help me to finish my race well.  I can't change the fact that I am in my 50s, but someday soon I will see my Savior face to face. So, until the day that He calls me home, I will keep running my race.......to win!